Tag Archives: hair
10 August 2009: Choice
Terrible foreboding and loneliness. The two of us in this house together and nothing but discomfort between us. I wish I could feel warmth, comfort, closeness. All outward signs are there: he takes me to the hospital, makes my meals, … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal, uncategorized
7 August 2009: awaiting my own tragedy
Day after biopsy–sitting bandaged in the backyard. An excruciating experience all around–less from the pain of the surgery than the hospital inefficiency, in a corner alone for hours afterward, told I’d see the surgeon–that I must see the surgeon–before leaving. “Before … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal
2 August 2009: 31,000 feet
Taking off from Cleveland as the red sun dips in the sky. From the air the network of streets and trees, ponds and houses seems delicate and deliberate. So many blue swimming pools. My hair is falling out again. To … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal
26 June 2009: absence
Sleepless nights and strange morning-dreams. This free-floating anxiety shot into overdrive with the nurse’s call last night: yet another meeting with the surgeon on 7 July, and nothing to be planned until after. There is always this great sickness in the … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal
Boring post-chemo hair post, 2
First proper professional haircut since chemo.
Filed under uncategorized
23 April 2009: “How do you justify your existence?”
Oxford’s full of chattering Americans. It was strange, uncomfortable, to step off the train and walk past this, my most persistent milieu, the one place in my life (the world) I’ve not quite managed to leave. Incredulous at the thought … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal
The horror, the horror of the hair-dryer
Yesterday at the gym a lady glances at my head and says, “You’re smart for wearing your hair short. Now you don’t have to do what I’m about to,” indicating her wet hair. And I wanted to say, lady, you … Continue reading
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still looks like cancer: or, reality bites
A confession: I really love this movie. I used to so adore and identify with Lelaina (Winona Ryder) and her angsty smart girl Big Gulp post-college existence. But now it’s Vickie (Janeane Garofolo) with whom I identify, or this part … Continue reading
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11 April 2009: the loss of hair; ‘the birth of awareness’
English countryside, a concordance of daffodils. I don’t know where the days go. It’s shocking every time I see a clock and am aware of the passage of time. The floors and pillowcases are littered with my hair, which was … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal
