Tag Archives: mastectomy
Pinktober, Take 2
I’ve not written here since beginning the Ph.D. this fall–unsurprising, I suppose, considering the how much else I’m supposed to be writing right now; but then, it is my mind’s constant confrontation with cancer that prevents me from getting things done. I’m not … Continue reading
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11 August 2009: my worst self
Finally the sun attempts to break through this cloud cover. I’ve been feeling as if I’ve been trapped in some horrible globe with an unreal atmosphere. And all the time there is this tension between us, everything so diseased, so … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal
10 August 2009: Choice
Terrible foreboding and loneliness. The two of us in this house together and nothing but discomfort between us. I wish I could feel warmth, comfort, closeness. All outward signs are there: he takes me to the hospital, makes my meals, … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal, uncategorized
Aftermath
Amazing series of photographs by photographer Kerry Mansfied, Aftermath, documenting her mastectomy and reconstruction after a diagnosis of breast cancer at the age of 31. I love what she says: “Faced with the nihilistic process of radical chemotherapy and surgery, my … Continue reading
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2 August 2009: 31,000 feet
Taking off from Cleveland as the red sun dips in the sky. From the air the network of streets and trees, ponds and houses seems delicate and deliberate. So many blue swimming pools. My hair is falling out again. To … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal
23 June 2009: a cry for connection
Awash again with chemo after Dr. S’s U-turn in treatment (a standoff in his office yesterday, his defensiveness and awkwardness and my ever-present frustration and anger)–decision to go ahead with the final two chemo treatments with a view to mastectomy … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal
18 June 2009: the worst possible outcome
I had prepared myself for the worst possible news but still not quite expected it–mastectomy, or a waiting list for one at least. A terrible uncertainty, weeks or months of waiting for worse news. For the moment, waititing to see … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal
30 May 2009: the Disease
Tired of The Disease’s distasteful interruption to my life. A coping mechanism, I suppose, to view it as a nuisance. Trying to quell the terror of the possibility of this new drug’s being just as ineffective as the last was. … Continue reading
Filed under treatment journal
The Metaphor of Mastectomy, “the past sad year’s legacy”
I had my mastectomy on August 14, and was discharged from the hospital on August 22, two days before my twenty-fifth birthday. I tried to think of the removal of my breast not as the removal of my breast but … Continue reading
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18 april 2009: the worst of it
The worst of it. Great Lakes Loans contacting me repeatedly re: my account delinquency. Students contacting me to blame me for their poor reports. And then sitting at the dinner table last night for a half-hour discussion of cosmetic breast … Continue reading
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