Tag Archives: normality

16 July 2009: the same sad, sick self

My brain’s still operating strangely, slowly, a sluggard of drugs. Three o’clock in the afternoon, having only just really begun the day. Tea and Scrabble with H. earlier, feeling strange and anxious all the time. Last night—the experience of seeing … Continue reading

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31 March 2009: The euphoria of near-normality

A kind of reconciliation with loneliness, as in realizing that I am not alone entirely, and am ok with the places that I am. The weekend was head-clear, a complete relief. Films and pizza and chocolate, laughter and closeness. A … Continue reading

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Only women bleed

Today, I do too. Only yesterday, I was filling out medical forms that asked the dreaded “date of last menstrual cycle.” Dunno…April? May? June? When did the Zoladex kick in? Maybe it’s the moon, or the fact that my mother … Continue reading

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19 March 2009: Pre-treatment

Three days of relative normalcy before I’m due to begin chemo. I know they’ll skip by almost thoughtlessly, and in the weeks and months to come I’ll long for that sense of health. Yesterday the NHS treated me to a … Continue reading

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external shows

The other night we felt like slumming it and went to pick up Dominos in Didcot, where we saw the typical weekend chav-rabble cluttering the pavement outside, queuing up for pizzas and fish and chips. Obese. Smoking. Pregnant. And I … Continue reading

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