Tag Archives: pain
Overdue update, & encountering cancer
This is largely what I saw the first time I encountered cancer: I was wearing this absurdly cheerful polka-dot skirt the day I went for my biopsy results and was informed I had a Stage 2, Grade 2 breast cancer. I was … Continue reading
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Tamoxifen & pelvic pain
I’ve been in pain for days and days. Google served up this breastcancer.org dicussion thread on Tamoxifen & Pelvic Pain & Pressure. Terrified of endometrial thickening, ovarian cysts, uterine fibroids. And cancer of course. Won’t be scheduling any more trips … Continue reading
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9 July 2009: Why is there not a discovery in life?
Another bout of this, a day wasted, hours and hours in bed, wet pillowcase. Pain in my armpit. The inability to do anything–and those horrible lines from Love Story, a movie I haven’t even seen, but which has somehow pervaded … Continue reading
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abnormalities
I thought I was in the all-clear for the moment as far as tests go, but April 30th’s pap smear–I’d assumed hearing nothing for so long was a good thing–apparently turned up abnormalities. This is not the first time this … Continue reading
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7 July 2009: an ache
These dreams wherin everything is out of joint. Trying to take the Tube to impossible destinations, unfamiliar geographies. And a slapdash wedding, bald and ugly, the wrong flowers, no guests. Everything is wrong; I can feel it. Pain in my … Continue reading
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23 June 2009: a cry for connection
Awash again with chemo after Dr. S’s U-turn in treatment (a standoff in his office yesterday, his defensiveness and awkwardness and my ever-present frustration and anger)–decision to go ahead with the final two chemo treatments with a view to mastectomy … Continue reading
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standing on my heart
Why why why why why these awful chest pains/breast pains perpetually? I feel like somebody’s always standing on my heart. Could be an emo lyric did I not mean it quite literally. I could subject myself to doctors, tests. Or … Continue reading
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